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Thread: Is Social Life in Malaysia really dead????

  1. #1
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    Is Social Life in Malaysia really dead????

    Hi, I am in my 30s and found that most of my friends have either married or are attached and have no time to hang out with me. Some have migrated. Recently I dabbled into facebook and hook up with some old school mates of mine. But, unfortunately, after chatting a few times, they tell me that they are too busy to hang out.

    My social life is dwindling and dating life in this conservative society is killing me. So I ask you guys, is there like a social club, association, where singles meet up and do things together. I mean, I do not mind making friends with other guys as long as it is not for business purposes. Just chatting, play basketball, hang out, etc? Does anyone know any Rotary club that has many singles in their 20s and 30s? Or mandarin lessons i can take up in a class of 30 people of all ages and races? My social life is dying ! Need help !

  2. #2
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    Tricky when you get to a certain age and that starts happening. It's like that when school stops supplying you with friends and your old friends start families or can't stop thinking about money. You're in KL, why don't you start a part-time course, or a club. I keep meaning to get in touch with the karst society - caving clubs supplied me with most of my social life in my 30s. I have got 2 kids under 4 years old though, so they're not exactly low-maintenance!

    What about volunteering for something? Seems like Malaysia's civil and arts society is picking up recently, how about getting involved with that?

    People believe they don't have much time for fun once they get to a certain age. I think it's a huge mistake. It seems like a popular mistake here though. If you find a ready supply of social life in Malaysia, make sure you post directions to it, k?

  3. #3
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    Precisely you got it right Seanie...I called out a friend that I knew for 20 years for a jog and he fumed at me because he told me that he had other priorities with his girlfriend and his insurance business. My goodness, the dude wasn't even married and have kids, and he is complaining that he is wasting my time. Just one day, he would age and see his kids enter university and only he and his wife left to retire only knowing each other. You got it spot on ! I see no reason for us to be seeking friends even though we are married and have kids. We should make the effort to reach out to other people, not for the sake of business or bad intentions but for the sake of fellowship and networking. We should not just limit our relationships to just our wives and kids and parents but also to our wider community. I sort of see us Malaysians really growing materialistically, only wanting to make more $$$$. People indulge into insurance and financial planning (I got nothing against this) but have no time to make new friends. I tried everything from part time course to social networking, and I think social life in Malaysia is very much dead...especially for the people in the 30s and above. For me, even if I am married and have kids, I would purposely make time for my friends, make sure we consistently have something to do. It would really disappoint me to really consider a person as a friend if we only get to meet during weddings and funerals. It would be better if friends could be out there to help one another. Like example if a friend falls sick and in hospital, friends come and visit and give encouragement. Unfortunately, social life here....sigh...is dead !

  4. #4
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    Another feature of social life is that up until a certain age, you're enjoying your social life in a setting (school, work, local amenities) that is provided by someone older /with more money than you. Once you get to a certain age / level of wealth, it becomes your job to provide the social infrastructure!

    Why not start your own club? It's just a few evenings work to get a poster printed and pin it up in a few choice places, think of a few initial events, and then pump up your charisma. There are local factors to avoid - you'll have to be careful not to feature teapots - you don't want to end up like Ayah Pin!

  5. #5
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    Wish it was that easy. If i organise a club, who is going to join? I mean, I am even having trouble asking old friends out or getting a date, leave alone starting a club. Anyways, when starting to socialise, we also got to be weary and be careful because these days in chatrooms, we don't know whom we would meet. Malaysia's probably much safer but from what I've heard in the United States, its really scary when we don't know whom we would meet. I got a piece of advice for the youngsters here, be careful who you meet on the web, because they could be con men or sexual predators or elder men posing as teenagers.

    So for me, I am more interested in hanging out with those clubs or groups of friends recommended by people I know, i feel much safer. Yeah, some people have advised me to donate some money to the youth groups such as scouts but really, i don't have the passion. I am more interested in hanging out with people in their late 20s and early 30s, i just want to network and make some new friends. Social work, i've done before, helping out orphans, but its not easy and it takes a lot of energy, passion and you need a calling for that. All those I don't have.

    Anyways, like i said, people here aren't really perceptive to social so starting out a club isn't going to attract any interested people.

  6. #6
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    Ehm, mate.. I hear what you're saying, but I can't completely agree. I'm an expat myself (or at least, I'm presuming you are one) and I have no problem moving around here. In my opinion, people definately have rich and abundant social lives here, though be it not exactly the way you might have been used to "back home". Then again, it's not -that- different either.. I guess it's all a matter of which circles you (prefer to) move around in.

    Anyways, some pointers that might be worth your while: as you already are on facebook, sign up for the group "Kuala Lumpur Expats". They have get togethers of all sorts just about every other couple of weeks. Get to know the locals and tag along for a while, even if it's to things that are not really your thing. It's all about networking here, both professionally as well as socially. You do have to keep in mind though that mingling socially usually means mingling professionally as well. As some people here work all hours of the day and weekend, there is no real clear distinction between business and pleasure.

    Hope this helps.. good luck!

  7. #7
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    I forgot to mention.. I'm 37 myself and have friends both local and expat, male and female, of all religion, ages and social backgrounds. It IS possible I tell ya

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    Bitbrother,
    I which it was that easy. You're 37 and you are probably married, so its easier for people to feel more relaxed being approached by you. Plus the fact that you're an expat, its also easy for you to link up with other expats who feels more the need to network with everyone else.

    I am not trying to sound negative, but there is a sense of stigmatism towards the single guy in his 30s, particularly in an Asian conservative society. I could feel the lack of social response. When I was attached and have a girlfriend, i find people being more friendlier to me but when I am single, people seem to distant. Not that I want to rush into a relationship because this time around I really want to find the right person in my life.

    Well, sounds eeky to talk about relationship matters but what I want to emphasis here is the social life that is really lacking. Malaysians are not really open people and easy to mix. Malaysians tend to be more clickish. They stick to the people that they feel more comfortable with. So whenever you are at the office, you see group clicks. And if you try to join the group clicks and you are different from them, you can really feel the opposition. There's like a lack of opportunity to social here. Yeah, I would take your advice probably start somewhere....I think I have a few pointers myself.

  9. #9
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    The Font here is a bit misleading. When I say clicks...it means C-L-I-C-K-S.

  10. #10
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    Try out the MCA Cupid club

    Seriously, if will crossed out those so called "friends" that have changed their priority and give me very straight signal no to bother them due to GF/BF or other part time job. Should received a wedding invitation from those "friend", I will not even bother to attend it.

    Anyway there is so many society in Malaysia to join, just find one that are able to match your interest.

    I believe Webmaster Malaysia does gathering from time to time, perhaps we all can meet up at the time and expand social network

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter View Post
    Bitbrother,
    I which it was that easy. You're 37 and you are probably married, so its easier for people to feel more relaxed being approached by you. Plus the fact that you're an expat, its also easy for you to link up with other expats who feels more the need to network with everyone else.

    I am not trying to sound negative, but there is a sense of stigmatism towards the single guy in his 30s, particularly in an Asian conservative society. I could feel the lack of social response. When I was attached and have a girlfriend, i find people being more friendlier to me but when I am single, people seem to distant. Not that I want to rush into a relationship because this time around I really want to find the right person in my life.

    Well, sounds eeky to talk about relationship matters but what I want to emphasis here is the social life that is really lacking. Malaysians are not really open people and easy to mix. Malaysians tend to be more clickish. They stick to the people that they feel more comfortable with. So whenever you are at the office, you see group clicks. And if you try to join the group clicks and you are different from them, you can really feel the opposition. There's like a lack of opportunity to social here. Yeah, I would take your advice probably start somewhere....I think I have a few pointers myself.
    Peter, in short you are saying that the society here causes independent thinking and independent acting person the loneliest person ?

  12. #12
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    can try online also.. facebook, friendster.. etc.. get to know many people.. hehe

  13. #13
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    It's strange that I stumble across this thread that was created a year ago....after reading it....i do agree with Peter....

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